The small talk equivalent of elevator music

I’m guessing you’ve heard this one before: “Share a fun fact about yourself.” Just like elevator music; technically, no one’s bothered by it, but no one is proactively showing their excitement that it’s happening. And it’s not memorable, that’s for sure.

I’ve been there, I’m still there, and it’s still a prompt I use today when bringing people together, often time new groups of people together.

If we really think about it, we’re asked to think of 2 things: something fun and something that is a fact. Could we make it up on the spot? Sure. But I usually don’t want to do that, and believe it or not, it’s hard to think of literally anything on the spot, so the pressure’s on.

The problem isn’t the people answering the prompt, it’s the prompt that’s the problem. (say that five times fast)

Should the prompt be rebranded? I think so.

I like prompts that lower the pressure but that turn up the volume on personality. I want the prompt to appropriately invite stories to be told. After all, that’s what makes the experience, and the people living it, memorable.

I want to hear about something you always have stocked in your fridge, no matter what (or on a similar kitchen note, something I think I’ve written about before: My favorite ice breaker question, what’s your favorite kitchen appliance and why?). I want to hear what hill(s) you’re willing to die on, or a topic you could speak on for 30min without any prep, or a competition they would for sure win, or a random niche experience from your childhood that has shaped you into the person you are today, or even your first AIM screenname (I cringe).

The best part about this is that is not just for something like team intros at work or a networking event. They work in many scenarios; group chats, that awkward 5min before a meeting starts, first dates (depends lol), Slack channels that have gone weirdly quiet, Linkedin posts; there really isn’t a rule. Try it out in your next gathering. See how folks respond. A good question can flip the energy instantly, turning autopilot conversation into something people actually want to participate in.

This is a topic I think about a lot because I’m a community manager, but it’s also my nature to be the bring-people-together-er. I enjoy hearing from folks who I might otherwise only have one perspective from. Change in this context can be a good thing. Switching up the routine can create some good surprise. In fact, I did this recently at work as we were waiting for a meeting to start and I dropped into the chat my kitchen appliance question, and the conversation opened up; no weird silence. It was great.

The truth is, people want to participate; they usually won’t call it out explicitly, but they do for the most part. Or at lest they’re willing, especially in a group setting.

What do you think? Should we (myself very much included) retire “Share a fun fact about yourself?” What’s your go-to or favorite questions to ask groups?

Thanks for reading and for being here. I don’t take for granted that you care what I have to say. Or even if you don’t care, and you’re still here; thanks for being a fan anyway. ❣️

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